My Type In Men

My type in men has shifted throughout the years—actually, I lied, I mean specifically this year. I went through a phase where I only dated white men. Yes, I was a reverse snow (Indian?) bunny. I liked white men because I liked how integrated they were into our country. If you're a different race than white, someone's probably going to make stereotypical assumptions about you that will probably hurt you in some way. My parents are very unintegrated in this country. Straight off the boat, they do not fit into society whatsoever, from not being able to speak English to just generally not understanding how this country works. That hurt me as a kid, so I wanted to marry a man who would not only fit into this country but be the m'fin poster child of the U.S. DAMN. A. That way, I could be just as assimilated and get as close as possible to the highest privilege in this country. On top of that, I was scared of being a disappointment to an Indian family since family status matters when introducing your family to a partner. I was worried that a partner would be embarrassed to introduce me to his family.

@ Rock Paper Scissors, Ann Arbor! (October 2024)

Now, this year I've come to realize how dumb this perspective is. I was part of the problem, and I was so willing to wash away not only my culture but what makes me flavorful and different just to fit in more. On top of that, I realized I don't care what people think of me as long as me and my partner are happy.

SO NOW, here are my NEW *criteria* for men:

Taller than me (I'm 4'10... it's not that restrictive...).
Passionate about something meaningful (not just obsessed with stocks).
Both kind eyes and a smile would be ideal, but if not both, they have to have at least one.
They're odd—society deems them unusual.
They have to have siblings. I honestly don't care about the order. PLEASE AT LEAST ONE SISTER!!!!!
Generous and considerate. I don't mean they have to pick up every bill, because honestly, I probably wouldn't let a man pay for my meal until I feel comfortable with him, but in the sense of "oh, have the last piece" or "you said you like strawberries, so I picked this flavor." They're willing to share everything because I love to share everything. They're a genuinely kind person too while we're at it.
I have to be attracted to them. I don't really have a physical type, but something I always look at is hair. They have to have a good head of hair.
I don't really like piercings cuz I don't have them, but it's not a dealbreaker if they have them. I like tattoos, though.
I would like it if they have mommy/daddy issues or come from a poor household because then we can struggle together <3. But I also would like it if they came from a loving household, so I can have an influence different from what I grew up with. Maybe I should get rid of this point because I like both angles.
I would prefer if they're Christian or at least agnostic because I'm Christian.
Responsible and constantly pushes me to be better.
Socially adept and can be the life of the party.
Dependable. If there was an emergency, they would be willing to help me out without expecting anything in return. I have pretty bad anxiety about certain things. I would obviously return the favor, but I don't want them to expect that of me.
They're not afraid to share their feelings. He texts first. He initiates the dates. He can tell me how he feels.
Working out is a plus because I work out.
Has a lot of friends who are women. Also left-leaning. Preferably a little **neurodivergent** too.
WOULD LOVE if they're older than me!!!

That's all I've got for now. This list is based on looking at my life and figuring out what would help me grow, but also what would make my inner child feel safe. I think it's a good idea to write out everything you want in a person because you'll have a better idea of what your standards are and what's important to you. You'll also be able to spot them in a crowd easier.

I'll keep you guys updated if I find him!