It's Your Choice

One (lol, as if it was only once) time my parents were fighting. Earlier that week, I found myself hating my dad and liking my mom, and then the roles reversed—I started hating my mom and liking my dad. While my dad was talking poorly of my mom to me and telling me how she's a bad person, I realized something: Why did I feel the need to pick a side? At that moment, I had a sudden, clear understanding of free will. I didn't have to choose either of them—there was a third choice. I could choose myself and dislike both of them!

My dad and I were turning this corner when I had this realization. I got this picture off this Zillow idk when it was taken.

We often feel morally obligated to pick a side when we're caught in the middle of conflict. It could be two friends fighting, and you might ask yourself, 'Which friend do I side with?'. But what if, instead of stressing over which side you're going to take, you decided to take neither because both friends are idiots? What if you realized the real choice here is whether you participate at all? Sometimes, the best decision is to step back and let others resolve their conflicts. Focus on what benefits YOU.

We often create limits for ourselves, choosing our own boundaries without even realizing it. Sometimes, we tolerate too much bulls*** in the name of loyalty or fear of change. We let our current circumstances dictate our lives, but it doesn't have to be that way. Imagine you're in this box with a certain type of biome. But you're suffering in this biome. Why stay in that box if it's not working for you? Don't you see how it's a box that you can just leave? Step outside the box and find a new biome, one that suits you better. Sure it might be expensive to readjust to the new biome but you'll thrive better when you settle there. All I'm saying is that maybe the obstacles you currently are facing are ones you've chosen to stay in. You have the power to leave this current biome and find a new one with challenges that will be difficult but will benefit you in the long run.

When I said biome in a box I was thinking about my ugly 2nd grade project where I had to make a habitat in a box and I did a jungle. Unfortunately, nobody I knew had access to a camera back then so I'll use a Minecraft Biome for this example.

For years, I was obsessively worried about my mom and sister. I kept asking myself, 'How am I going to take care of them?' This question had been the driving force behind my entire undergraduate experience. Meanwhile, my mom continued to abuse me emotionally. Then, it hit me—I was the one putting this pressure on myself. I had created the limitation that I needed to make a lot of money to support those two and my future family. But what if I chose not to carry that burden? What if I chose a career that fulfilled me, instead of one dictated by their needs? Once I reevaluated what my choices actually were, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. My mom’s problems no longer had to be my problems. I decided that the problems I wanted to keep are how I'm going to support my sister because she is what I view as good in the world.

My story is just one example, but there are so many more. Maybe you're stuck in a major you hate because you're chasing a high-paying job, or perhaps you're sacrificing your happiness trying to live up to your family's expectations. But ask yourself—why do you want to make a lot of money? Why do you want to satisfy your family's expectations? Is it worth compromising what you love? As mean as it sounds if you choose to give up your happiness for satisfying others, then can you complain? You have a CHOICE to decide what your problems are going to be. If you're willing to submit to your circumstances then you should live by that submission. You can come up with a million objections against what I'm saying but in the end it's also your choice to object to what I'm saying. You're choosing to go against what I'm saying and stay in circumstances that make you miserable. If you feel like complaining about it any further then maybe you should leave your box and find a different biome. It's your choice.